Epicureanism is like, totes awesome
by FluffDucklings
Summary: Feliks is like, the totally bossy friend and Toris is just too shy for his own good. A bunch of drabbles about a cute Central European and an adorable North European. Ratings may vary.
1. Picnic

**A/N: **An itty bitty drabble with chibi!Poland and chibi!Lithuania. I've never written Poland so I was like, "How does a Valley Girl-Boy talk?" XD And now I keep adding random 'like's into my speech. XD Anyways, I hope you like it and I hope to write some more drabbles with these two! They are so cute! I can just see their moms squealing with delight when the boys get older and get together. "They're so cute together!" Feliks' mom would say and Toris' mother would say, "I wonder which one tops!" XD

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><p>"I like, totes love you, Toris."<p>

Little five-year old Toris Laurinaitis looked at his friend. "What?"

The younger boy in girl's clothing clung to Toris' arm. "I totes love you, dummy! Mama said that when you like someone a lot you like, love them."

Toris blushed. No one had ever said they loved him before and since his best friend, Feliks Łukasiewicz, had just been the first person to actually say it to him he felt weird.

The brunette boy squirmed under his friend's touch. "Y-You love me?" The words felt foreign on his tongue.

"Duh, that's what I, like, totally just said, silly." Feliks laughed at his flustered friend. It was always fun to make his blush and squirm. "And Mama, like, said that when two people love each other, they have to, like, totally get married."

"M-Married? But we're only in the first grade!" Toris started worrying. From what his own mother had told him, when two people get married, they have to live on their own and get jobs to pay for things. He wasn't ready to get his own house or a job.

"Duh~ Are you deaf, silly?" Feliks let go of Toris' arm and led him to the swings. His skirt fluttered in the wind and he laughed when another little boy asked his mother why he was wearing girl's clothes.

Feliks patted one of the swing seats before he sat in another. "Come swing with me, Toris!" Toris sat down next to his bossy friend. Maybe he would forget about getting married?

"So I was thinking that you could wear all black at our wedding, Toris," Feliks started. He was picking up speed while Toris just sat, letting the wind push him slightly. His voice came in and out of focus as he swung back and forth. "And I want to wear a pretty white dress!" Feliks swung up into the air and he continued his thoughts as he swung back. "I want lots of flowers and a giant cake."

Then Toris' mother called their names. Feliks slowed to a stop and grabbed Toris' hand and dragged him to where their mother's were sitting in the shade.

"It's time for our picnic, honey," Mrs. Łukasiewicz said as she opened up the wicker basket. Toris' mother passed the two boys a bottle of water each.

"It's kind of hot out here today," she commented as she fanned herself with her hand.

"But it's windy, Mrs. Laurinaitis!" Feliks said happily. "I love it when it's windy!"

Mrs. Laurinaitis laughed. "I know, I know."

Mrs. Łukasiewicz finished setting up the food on the blanket. "I hope you like it. Feliks helped me with most of it." Feliks smiled happily and took one of the sandwiches.

"I made this one special for you, Toris!" Feliks handed the blushing boy next to him the heart-shaped sandwich.

"U-Um, thank you, F-Feliks."

The two women watched their sons interact. "Your Toris is such a cutey. Feliks absolutely loves him."

"Yes, but Toris is so shy around him. At home he mentions Feliks without realizing it. He baby brother probably thinks Feliks is the brother he never met." The two women laughed.

"Do you like it?" Toris nodded while still blushing. "Good. 'Cuz Mama also said that when you like someone, they are supposed to eat the things you make and like, totally love them."

The Lithuania boy blushed more and tried to hide it with his sandwich. Feliks laughed. "You're so cute, Toris~"

Feliks pecked Toris on the cheek.


	2. Lietuva

**A/N: **Gakuen!Poland and Lithuania this time~

It started with Feliks and Toris on a date and ended with Toris getting his nickname. Mentions of past AmeriLiet friendship, swearing, gay bashing and defending.

I hope you like, totally like this~

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><p>"You know this county isn't very accepting, Feliks," Toris said nervously as the two boys walked down a sidewalk in town. Feliks had dragged Toris to go window shopping with him. To bond, he had reasoned.<p>

"Like I care," Feliks kept holding Toris' hand. "I mean, it's not like they, like, can't tell just by looking at me." The Polish boy pointed to his skirt. Toris nodded sullenly.

"I just don't want someone blowing up at us." It had happened before, who's to say it won't happen again?

"Then we'll just call our moms. They are, like, totally killers when it comes to those guys." Toris nodded. Their mothers had shown their support for their two sons once after they had come back from a date and Toris sported a black eye. Both women had nearly had to be detained.

"Fine." Toris looked at one of the windows. "What do you wanna do now?"

"Hmm, let's like, totally go get some smoothies!" Feliks dashed ahead towards the smoothie place. Toris shook his head and jogged to catch up.

Feliks was just ordering them both smoothies when he got through the doors. The jingle bells at the top rang and the man behind the counter greeted him.

After the two drank their smoothies, Feliks again dragged Toris down the sidewalk for more window shopping. Up ahead though, was a group of athletic jocks from their school.

"Let's go the other way, Feliks," Toris asked, pulling the Pole back around.

But it was too late. "Hey!" The two stopped. "What's little Toris doing with his girly-friend?" The largest, and no doubt the quarterback, asked with amusement.

"I'm not his girlfriend, idiot. I'm his _boy_friend." Feliks snapped back. Just because he wore girls clothing, didn't mean he was a girl. "B-O-Y. Boy."

The boy's laugh died down. "You little shit. Smartass." He swung his arm out, intent on hitting Feliks, but ducked behind Toris.

The jock's other friends came up, forming a circle around the two. Feliks, never good around strangers, decided it was time to worry.

"Sorry, Toris," he said quietly. Toris shook his head.

The largest teenager slammed his fist into Toris' stomach and the attack began. Two boys behind Toris grabbed Feliks and yanked them apart. They all laughed sinisterly.

"Stop that!" Someone yelled from behind the ones who grabbed Feliks. "Stop it!"

A blonde teenager was standing; pointing his finger at the ones he named 'ruffians'.

"And who's this?" The quarterback asked defiantly.

"Alfred Fucking Jones," the blonde replied coolly. "So you'd better leave these guys alone."

Alfred F. Jones was well-known throughout the county. Not only was he the most popular guy in high school, he was also known for sprouting out nonsense about righteousness. That and that he would give anyone hell and high water if he caught them gay-bashing. He did it for his baby brother, he answered when asked why.

The tall and lanky teenager stood with a slight slouch, as if he wasn't afraid – which he truly wasn't.

"Tch. We don't need this. C'mon." The two boys let Feliks go and they all stalked off.

"That was like, totally cool," Feliks said once they were gone. "You came in and were like, 'I'm Alfred Fucking Jones' and they were like, totally about to piss their pants."

Alfred rubbed his neck. "Yeah, well, I just hate it when people do that, ya know?"

Toris nodded. "Thank you, Alfred."

"No problem, Lithy." Alfred clapped the Lithuanian's shoulder.

"Like, Lithy?"

"Yeah, it's Toris' nickname I gave him when we were little. Lithy since he's from Lithuania." Alfred explained.

Feliks gave a devious smile then. "Oh~ Then I like, totally get to call you Liet!"

"Liet?"

"Like, duh! Short for Lietuva, dummy."


	3. A Whole New Side

**A/N: **Based off the comic when Poland sees Liet's back and then we get to see Liet in a maid costume~ /nose bleed  
>I can picture Poland watching Tangled and crying. Yeah... That movie was cute, despite what I initially thought...<p>

I don't own anything except for... my own twist on the comic? /fail

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><p>"I'm just going to take a bath. Is that alright, Feliks?" Toris asked. He was tired after being dragged around town all day and his back was hurting again.<p>

"Yeah, yeah." Feliks waved his hand. "You can, like, use my bath soap too." Toris thanked him and began running his bath.

In the living room, Feliks was devising a prank. "I'm like, totally going to prank Liet. But how?" Feliks thought a moment before rummaging through his closet for a water gun from his beach supplies. He filled it with cold water and snickered at how it would be funny when he scared Toris.

The water had stopped running so Feliks assumed Toris was already in the bath. Toris wasn't one to lock doors. It was a habit brought on by his mother.

Feliks snickered again as he creaked the door open. Toris was sitting up in the bath, bubbles floating around him. His back was to Feliks and he had a perfect shot, but any trace of prankster was gone when Feliks saw his back.

There were scars littering his pale back. He watched as Toris sighed and eased back into the water. Feliks closed the door.

"Wow… There's a whole side of him I don't know…" Feliks dumped the water gun into his sink. He was now devising a plan to ask how his shy and timid boyfriend got all those battle scars.

0o0o0o0oo0o0

Toris was towel drying his hair as he walked out of the bathroom. His back felt a million times better thanks to the water. He saw Feliks still sitting in the living room.

"Hey, Feliks. I thought you were going to out a movie in?"

"Like, what happened to your back?" Smooth.

"W-What?" Toris stumbled back, shocked by the question.

"I saw your back when I was trying to pull a prank on you in the bath. Like, what happened?" Feliks pointed his finger to Toris.

The Lithuanian had no choice but to tell the Pole. Well, it was either tell him now or suffer a millennia of never ending questions, pestering him about it. "I-Ivan gave them to me."

Feliks jumped up. "That Ruskie?" His voice had a sharp tone. "I should kick him for that."

"N-No! It… I'm fine now." Toris tried to calm him down. "Ivan didn't mean to ever do what he did."

"Like, that's crap, Liet!" Feliks whined. "That Ruskie has it out for you and you, like, know it. I, like, should have known there was something totally messed up with him."

"R-Really. It's fine. It's all in the past anyways." Feliks mumbled something under his breath. "Anyways, what about that movie?"

"I'm still gonna, like totally kick his butt for this. And I wanna watch Tangled."


	4. Eastwardly Tripping

**A/N: **Okay. I just did a drabble generator for Feliks and Toris and this was the product of a rather long list of adjectives and adverbs. Now, I did not write this. I just supplied adverbs, nouns, adjectives and a metaphor. The site made it into a drabble. And... a quite fitting drabble if I do say so myself. I hope you laugh as much as I did.  
>Oh! Here's the drabble site, if you would like to give it a try~ Just take out the spaces and it should work. - http: prillalar. com/ drabbles /

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><p><strong>Eastwardly Tripping<strong>

Feliks tripped along jubilantly. He was on his way to meet his lover, Toris, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a pony hopping along, carrying a skirt in its mouth.

Feliks was almost on a boat when he came across a Scary cake, lying alone on a Magical plate. "That must be a treat from my Horrifying bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked Tawdry, so he ate it.

It gave him the most Icy tingling sensation in his arm. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Toris.

When Toris came out to meet him, he took one look and fell over.

"What is it?" Feliks cried zealously.

"Your foot! And your nose!" Toris said. "They're Toasty! Can't you feel it?"

Feliks felt his foot and his nose. They were indeed quite Toasty. "Oh, no!" Feliks said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that Scary cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"

"I didn't leave you any cake," Toris said. "I got you a nail polish. It must have been that Flambouyant man who lives nearby. He acts a little aimlessly, ever since he smiled a waffles."

"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Feliks sobbed.

"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Toris said queenly, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your foot is really screeching like that."

"Really?" Feliks dried her tears. Feliks kissed Toris and it was an entirely Fluttering sensation, All the world's a stage and men and women merely players.

They spent the night having entirely Fluttering sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.

Everything was rather awkward after that.


End file.
